Waiting Walter
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| “ | Sauna päivässä pitää lääkärin irti (English: A sauna a day keeps the doctor away). | ” |
— Waiting Walter
|
Walter Fjord Kaunokainen, better known as Waiting Walter, is a penguin who works at the Pizza Parlour. Friends with the rest of the staff (The Chef, WWAOLTTNE, et al), there, he works as a hardworking waiter. Seemingly your average penguin in the street, he has an unusual backstory. Very unusual, to be precise, and very comparable to AntiWalrus's history. This unusual backstory is that, when he tells this to curious penguins, he hatched in a place called "Finland".
| Walter F. Kaunokainen | |
|---|---|
 Walter extracting a pizza from the oven like a pro, and about to place it on a plate for delivery. | |
| Born |
Walter Fjord Kaunokainen July 12, 1990 Somewhere called a "Zoo", in a country called "Finland" |
| Residence | Club Penguin |
| Gender | Male |
| Nationality | Club Penguinian |
| Other names |
Waiting Walter Awesome Daisy Mahtava Kaunokainen |
| Ethnicity | Northern Penguin |
| Citizenship | Club Penguin |
| Occupation | Being a waiter |
| Years active | 2010 (age 20) |
| Employer | The penguin who runs the Pizza Parlour |
| Salary | 50,000 coins |
| Height | 30 inch |
| Title | Waiter |
| Predecessor | Unknown |
| Successor | Unknown |
| Opponent(s) | Nobody; if not, other waiters |
| Awards | 1 "Completely Bamboozled Linguists" Award (made specifically for him) |
|
Notes Many penguins are interested in this "Finnish" he's so good at. | |
Nobody is sure whether this is real, but he claims that there is a lot of snow and humans there. This may be why he is so good at this language called "Finnish", and why he can speak English with only a small accent. However, this also means he knows a lot about humans, but, curiously, whenever somebody asks him about "Finland", humans, etc., he suddenly speaks in a stream of "Finnish" which nobody in the room can understand, making discovery impossible.
Biography
Early Life, 1990-2000
Walter claims that he hatched in the year 1990, in the month of August at the 12th, in a "zoo", in a country called "Finland", which is entirely populated by humans and creatures called "reindeers" (nobody knows if this is true, but there is always somebody in the audience who screams and tries to rollback this whenever he says it). He hatched into a group of bilingual Northern Penguins, who spoke this mysterious country's "Finnish" language, and also English. This is why he's called "Walter Fjord Kaunokainen". Like AntiWalrus's backstory, many migrating birds, talking fish and whatnot believe this, but not many others do.
He lived a dreary life in this "Finnish zoo" for a very long time, learning the "Finnish" language along the way and casually being fed fish all the time, but one day, he, his parents and some other penguins he knew were shooed into a sort of large, roomy, luxury fish tank. He overheard that they were to be taken to another "zoo" in another part of the country, and this idea excited him. Unfortunately, when they got there, there were many more penguins, and they didn't like him and his family at all. This is because, apart of everybody else, he and his family didn't have solely black feathers, and the other penguins teased them for this. Because of this, Walter's family were quickly taken to another "zoo", and the same happened there.
Eventually, they tried taking the penguins to another place overseas. He couldn't catch the name of the country well, but, when telling other penguins, he says it begins with the letter "D" (the aforementioned penguin who screams always calms down at this point). Unfortunately, mid-way, the tank slipped off the boat taking them to there somehow, and at the same time, the glass tank cracked into a random iceberg, enabling the penguins to escape. They swam for the first time in weeks, but as they were used to being in an enclosed space with a small swimming pool in their "zoo" area, after half an hour they couldn't keep it up, and had to rest on the nearest iceberg.
Swim to Club Penguin, 2000
They slept there for the night, and when they woke up, they were stuck on what to do. They were not used to DIY, and they had never had a chance to hunt fish for themselves, thanks to their confined life in the "zoo". Instead, they were a very logical group of penguins, and this was actually a good thing, as Walter, remembering advice from a friend he had in his "Finnish" "zoo" hometown, somehow made a fishing rod, using a random stick on the iceberg and a careless shrimp floating by. Using this, by noon, he had caught enough fish for a decent meal; he then lit a fire to cook the fish using more random sticks on the iceberg, and afterwards, they debated on what to do, as they knew that they couldn't live comfortably on an iceberg, let alone for the rest of their lives.
At first, they decided to wait until the humans came back to help them (not only were they logical, but, due to their reduced association with the world, they were also naïve), but nobody came. Then, they decided to shout sea-songs they learnt in the "zoo" to attract the humans to come in "Finnish", but instead, this only made their voices hoarse. The last-ditch option, which they hoped they wouldn't have to do, was to go and swim - swim for their lives. Very reluctantly, one by one, they jumped off and swam, Walter taking the fishing rod with him, just in case.
Due to their not being used to swimming for a long time and in open areas, they had to continuously stop-start whenever they could, but eventually, the heat grew, and less and less icebergs began to be seen. This was a problem, as this meant that they couldn't rest - meaning tiredness, and then danger. After landing on a deserted island of some sort, they soon realised a storm was brewing. They decided to swim as soon as they could before getting entangled in the storm, and they hurriedly left.
Big mistake.
Within fifteen minutes, the storm had grown from "miniscule" to "violent", and the sea and sky was grey, with the rain slapping their flippers. In only a few minutes, a huge wave swept Walter away from his parents, and after bobbing for a few minutes, calling for them for help, as he believed a shark was beneath him, which was only his fear, he swam on with no other choice. After the incident, he never saw them again (many years later, a friendly migrating bird offered to look for them; he accepted, and he came back with the news that they were happily in another "zoo", in "Spain", and that they gave their sincere greetings to Walter).
After a lot of determined swimming and assistance from waves, he came upon, to his relief, icebergs. After taking a rest on one of them, the 10-year-old swam as fast as he could to the icy mainland, which, along with more and more icebergs, was getting clearer and clearer. He hoped that he would, at least, find humans there that would help him, but as he landed, he found that it was seemingly deserted, save for some trees and a lot of lying wood debris. Exhausted and slightly feverish, he had a nap on a plank.
When he woke up, he found two very curious chicks staring at him. Assuming that they would know "Finnish", he asked where he precisely was, but due to nobody in Club Penguin (for that was where he landed) knowing what the "Finnish" language is, their eyes only got wider and wider with disbelief. As they were about to turn back and run from shock, he realised that in this place, nobody knew "Finnish", and he tried again in English. It worked this time, and he got the information that he was in Club Penguin Island, and that it would be very kind if he would stop confusing them with the foreign language he was talking in a few minutes ago (e.g. "Finnish").
He then introduced himself, proceeded with a recount of his life so far, which the chicks attentively listened to, with interest. After some time, all being chicks, they got on very well, and taught each other games. Seeing that he was both an orphan and that he was feverish, they decided to ask their parents whether they could adopt him. When they took him to their seaside igloo, their parents agreed (as they also thought he was nice), and, thanks to their being kind too, he quickly recovered.
Club Penguin & Antarctica, 2000-2010
Afterwards, the very kind penguins started his education by teaching him how to write, but, when he went to school a month later, since everybody kept on bullying him for speaking with an accent and knowing "Finnish", they decided to homeschool him, which he enjoyed. He grew up to be a very clever chick, and would entertain them with the sea-songs and the old "Finnish" tales he learnt in the "zoo" he grew up in.
Unfortunately, one day, two years later, because they had ran out of wood, they sent him out with a chore to go and get some wood from the local woodcutter's. This was unfortunate, as they just had to give him nice, expensive clothes, and on the road, some bandits who needed a naïve-looking apprentice to help them steal things saw Walter as the perfect target, and, pretending that he was their little cousin to lookers-on, they managed to kidnap him successfully. After having stolen all his money and possessions, they tried to train him as a crook, but when they took him to a house to break into, he managed to alert the occupants that they were about to be robbed, but more unfortunately, they took him and the bandits to prison anyway, as they were not entirely sure whether he was genuinely good or not.
For a week he stayed there, but, being in solitary confinement, he managed to escape by smuggling in a spoon from the cafeteria and, using the spoon as a shovel, he dug a hole (nobody is sure if he's lying about his, but the aforementioned penguin who screams always bursts into laughter here with how ridiculous it sounds, but everybody else is, for some reason, very serious), and safely returned home. Even worse, his foster family had heard of the attempted robbery, and thought that he was being nice in order to steal from them. They were about to kick him back out, but he somehow managed to persuade them to let him stay for the night, as it was getting dark, and he would like to collect his possessions before leaving for good. The two chicks who had befriended him in the first place had pretended to believe the attempted robbery was a trick, and early next morning, they woke him up, helped him pack, and waved him off, as he left the igloo.
He made his way to the local orphanage, the Pet Shop, with the hopes of getting accepted there, but as they too had heard of the "robbery", they refused. He then decided to leave the country somehow, and so, after hijacking a deserted rowing boat, he managed to get to the Antarctican mainland, where he resolved to join the first orphanage he could find. For the two months where he lived on the street, he grew warier and less naïve about how nasty other penguins can be, and even developed self-defense skills after he almost got kidnapped again. Eventually, he found an orphanage, and, not having heard about the "robbery" in Club Penguin, he was allowed in.
Very quickly, his intelligence and politeness got him adopted into a rich family, and he got on well with his foster siblings. Although he was as happy here as he was in his previous home, he was still on his guard, as one day, when he was doing his homework (he was still homeschooled) in a room by himself, he saw the same two bandits who had kidnapped him passing out the window, who had seemingly escaped from jail too. He was right to be on his guard, as the same bandits tried to kidnap him again a few days later, but thankfully, his foster family prevented it, by throwing a barrage of blunt cutlery, especially spoons, at them as soon as they said Walter was their "little cousin" (the audience always burst into laughter here, at how ridiculous it sounds). It was effective, however. Apart from this, nothing really happened, and he got into university well, earning top grades.
Waiterdom, 2010-present
Two years after graduating from university, he decided to return to Club Penguin and get a job there. However, when he boarded the half-hour jet to the island, there was a hijack by an amateur pilot, but fortunately, he managed to get the original pilot back in his place by throwing endless amounts of spoons on him that was on board (nobody knows why his self-defence skills always have to involve spoons, but by this point, most of the audience are rolling on the floor, crying with laughter). Unfortunately, by the time he managed to get the amateur hijacker off the seat, the plane was off its original course, and to make matters worse, it had somehow caught fire, meaning they had to make a crash-landing in the sea. Fortunately, some random surfing disciples of Yyywoofoo caught sight of them, and rescued them in time.
Once he was safely on land, he looked around for a job, which he found very quickly, as there was a vacant place in the Pizza Parlour. He got the job, which was being a waiter, and met the other staff - Raven, WWAOLTTNE, the Chef, and Robert Winston. At first, he felt quite out-of-place because he was new and they were chatting along easily (apart, perhaps, from Raven), but they quickly got acquainted, especially on days when he accidently dropped a plate coated in the greasy leftovers of a pizza.
Some time later, Motorbike Fred joined, as the deliveryman service. Unfortunately, he acted in a very spoilt and "I'm-better-than-you" manner, and this annoyed everybody, especially Walter, due to his past, harsh experiences. When the two happened to be together and Fred said something insulting, seagull-like cries and screams of insults in the "Finnish" language were always to be expected. Fortunately, Robert Winston smoothed things when he took it upon himself to deliver pizzas to Ghostlia, since Fred, being one of the penguins who led the First Nation War, was paranoid the Mayor Jetpack would recognize and stain his reputation. Although they mostly reconciled, there is still a slight tension between them.
When the Pizza Puffle joined, he ended up quite liking him, and when he came to lose his owner because of his adoption contract going "missing", he offered him shelter in his igloo, which the puffle greatly appreciated.
Today, Walter is a friendly, hardworking waiter, friends with everybody in the team.
Involvement
In Club Penguinian society, Walter doesn't do very much, apart from being the waiter at the Pizza Parlour. That is, however, quite a big role in society, as it means that he orders the pizzas, which gives the Chef et al their jobs, which bring in Club Penguin's money, and eventually Antarctica's money too. Without him, the entire system would fall into disrepair. Before his being a waiter, however, his involvement was miniscule due to him not doing anything, save for being an attraction for humans at his "Finnish zoo" hometown.
Powers & Weaknesses
Relationships
Chef
His relationship with the Chef is very good, and is probably his favourite penguin in the entire staff, alongside Robert Winston, the toppings-cooker. Whenever the Chef gets critisied for something (burning something, overcooking, etc.), Walter will always try to stand up for him.
WWAOLTTNE
Being a walrus, remembrance of advice from when he was at his "Finnish zoo" (walri are dangerous, they can eat you, etc.) and unfamiliarity hindered the development of a proper relationship, but now that Walter's known him for some time, he has realized not all walri are bad, and so the two have a good relationship now.
Robert Winston
Walter gets on with Robert Winston very well, and they can often be seen giving each other tips on how to cook recipes, or telling each other amusing anecdotes or jokes. Sometimes, Walter offers Robert that if he needs help, then he has chance to get some, and this has proved useful for Robert, whenever a large-ish fire begins whenever he burns/overcooks something.
Motorbike Fred
Due to their past experiences, Motorbike Fred and Walter's relationships are not very good, even though Robert Winston smoothed things down by delivering pizzas to Ghostlia. It is, however, much better than it was in the past, and they can actually sit/stand together in the same room and talk (albeit not without subtle jabs at each other), but they both think that they would rather stay away from each other.
Raven
Walter's relationship with Raven is fair enough. He doesn't mind him being an Emoguin, because, to him at least, hearing him rant about Mwa Mwa Penguins, getting tripped up whilst he's clearing the tables of used plates, or having "NO" screamed at in his face is better than seeing Fred's conceited, overly-proud look on his face as he goes to deliver pizzas.
Silent Lee
Even though he annoys everybody else, Walter quite likes him, and calls him "a true ystäväni". This is because he remembers his own underdog days, and thus has a sympathy for him, especially when Lee is critisised for screaming at passers-by to "COM END ENTAH DA PIZZA PARLOHH!!!".
Pizza Puffle
The Pizza Puffle and he get on very well together. It has been known that, in the past, when the Pizza Puffle's owner had to leave him due to the adoption contract going "missing", Walter kindly offered him to stay in his igloo, which he accepted. Although his owner now has him back again, they still get on well together.
Quotes
- Sauna päivässä pitää lääkärin irti.
Dialogue
(Walter is sitting down, chatting with the rest of the staff, when a penguin waddles up to him.)
???: Walter?
Walter: Jaa-ääni, that's me. Would you like anything?
???: Could you possibly spare some time? I should like to talk to you.
Walter: Jaa-ääni. I'll come.
(Walter, excusing the others, waddles up to the penguin.)
???: Listen - I'm a historian and scientist, and I'm interested in this "Finland" of yours. Can you tell me about it?
Walter: Suomessa niillä on upeat saunat. Myös suomessa, heillä on-
(As Walter babbles on in a stream of "Finnish", the historian-scientist gets more and more confused. By the time Walter ends, the historian-scientist's eyes are huge, and he's hunched his back.)
Walter: -saunat. Anteeksi, mitä sanoit uudestaan?
Historian-Scientist: ...
(Motorbike Fred is about to go and deliver pizzas.)
Motorbike Fred: Hi there, waiter-o, how's things?
Waiting Walter: Fine, fine, hyvä ystäväni. And you?
Motorbike Fred: Good, good. I see there are some plates that need washing up in the delivery depot. Need any help?
Waiting Walter: No, I'm fine, ystäväni. Just go and do your job.
Motobike Fred: Ah, so you can clean up the grease spots on it yourself? Good. See-ya.
(Motorbike Fred drives away.)
Waiting Walter (mumbling): Ooh, you petollinen katkarapu...
Motorbike Fred (mumbling): Annoying little jerk...
Trivia
- His Totally Unofficial Nickname (TUN, something the Pizza Parlour staff thought up) is "Awesome Daisy" (he says this is Mahtava Kaunokainen in "Finnish")
- He is obsessed with saunas.
- He often says "Finnish" words in his English sentences.
- Whenever Donal Tenorio is in the slot of part-time manager, he has a really annoying tendency to fire him and Robert Winston.
- The latter then always goes to sue the manager for letting a jerk be in charge.
- Walter hates Donal whenever he does this too, but he keeps his beak shut and carries on work.
- Only penguins from Sleetden can understand his Finnish speech.
- Then again, whenever he speaks, there is never a Sleetish penguin around for some weird reason, making discovery impossible.