Time Agency
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| Time Agency | |
|---|---|
 The insignia of the Time Agency. | |
| Details | |
| Type | Agency |
| Location | Inside a broom closet in the Gift Shop. |
| Head | Director of Time Penguins |
| Job | Time protecting and researching |
| Members | Shhhh!! |
The Time Agency is a very secret branch of the Penguin Secret Agency. The Agency deals with matters relating to time, such as a time stream break, rips in the space-time continuum, changes in time, finding Time Gears, etc. They also research the future and the past, filling important gaps in the history books.
However, beneath this innocent mask, the true Time Agency is an evil, treacherous and destructive organisation that threatens the existence of everything in this universe; headed by a penguin with a heart of stone. Many have been betrayed or killed by their hand. They are advancing even as you read, eating through the woodwork of reality like a vile grub, just waiting for their moment to pop out and take control. Some say that the Time Agency's combined power equals, or even surpasses, the very Bureau of Fiction itself. The Agency's existence is known to a select few, who are doing everything in their power to stop the organisation before it's too late.
The story of the Time Agency is a long one, full of jealousy, war, triumph, and the continuing battle of good and evil. It will close down in 2016, but is currently classed as Conspiracy Theory #3 in Conspiracy Theories for Conspiring Creatures.
Background
Beginnings and First Appearance
When The Doctor left the Vortex Manipulator on Explorer's front porch, it was stolen by a passing skua. The skua dropped it and it hit The Leader on the head. He grabbed it and showed it to The Director of the EPF, who started up a Time Agency. The Bureau of Fiction did not approve this, so it is expected the group was formed by other means.
Top Agents of the PSA and EPF often went missing, puzzling their friends. The reality is that the Time Agency was recruiting the best agents. Not surprisingly, they didn't recruit Rookie. The Agency then began mass-producing Vortex Manipulator Mk IIIs, which they issued to Agents. The Time Agency did some tests and compiled a complete history of the world, which is stored in their files under the code #Ub3R 1337.
The Time Agency was soon up and running. They didn't play a part in The Great Darktonian Pie War, but appeared soon after at the Judoon on the Moon incident, which attracted the public eye. Conspiracy theories were cropping up all over the place, and the Time Agency is now targeted as Theory #3 in the latest edition of "Conspiracy Theories for Conspiring Creatures". It was at the Judoon on the Moon incident when a brave penguin called Kwiksilver asked to join. The Director accepted.
Kwiksilver
Kwiksilver showed great skill with the Vortex Manipulator, if a little clumsy, and rose quickly through the ranks. Unlike the other Time Agents, he hesitated to touch things while traveling for fear of changing the future while the other agents moved freely. Kwiksilver was liked by everyone, but the Director regarded him as an usurper.
In late 2009, Kwiksilver took a week off. Nobody knew where he went or what he did, but the Director suspected he had been training with Doctor Hickory, who the agency was keeping tabs on. Kwiksilver seemed more confident and stronger in both mind and body. He stood up for the young recruits and helped them. The Director became furious that he was more popular.
Finally, the last straw arrived. Kwiksilver had an argument with the Director of the Time Agency. The Director wanted to turn the Time Agency into a private betting agency while Kwiksilver said it wasn't right to change time. The Director classed Kwiksilver as the Time Agency's No.1 most wanted penguin and tries to capture him. Thankfully though, Kwiksilver has evaded capture many times and is still on the run.
Operation Casino Night
- Main article: Operation Casino Night
After Kwiksilver's departure, morale went down. Agents did their jobs half-heartedly, expecting the temper-prone Director to fire them. Nevertheless, the Director went ahead with Operation Casino Night. Operation Casino Night was a program to find the winners of next week's football, soccer, or other sporting game, celebrity card-jitsu match, casino jackpot, roulette number, etc., and write down the results and sell them to the highest bidder. The Time Agency could not sell it outright so they set up an account on Ebuy called "Time343".
Things started off good. The info was sold, the client disappeared and won the money. However, it was soon to get worse. Director Benny flooded the HQ by setting off a depth charge in an aquarium, and later stormed in and gave the Director an ultimatum: end OCN or face the Agency's instant obliteration. Later on, Doctor Hickory and his companion Excess Consumption sabotaged the Vortex Manipulators and escaped again. The Director was furious, and he was in such a rage that he destroyed his office.
It took three months for the Vortexes to be fixed. By that time, the casinos caught wind of "Time343" (guess who tipped them off) and, after a long legal battle over the immorality of rigged gambling (they thought they were selling secrets on how to stack machines or count cards, not time itself), a judge ordered the account shut down and prohibited its creators from ever using Ebuy again. Operation Casino Night was a failure, and, because of certain owners, several agents ended up sleeping with the Mullets.
Meanwhile, a group of several Agents didn't like what was happening, and recruited followers. A schism was starting.
Schism
On July 21st, 2010, the Time Agency split down the middle. A group of Agents, calling themselves the Rogue Agents, raided the Time Agency and deleted all records on Kwiksilver, Doctor Hickory, and themselves. They blew up part of the HQ and escaped. The Director commanded the few agents faithful to recruit more agents. Penguins were plucked off the streets by the Time Agency and trained to use a Deletion Rifle and a Vortex Manipulator. The Government (save five creatures) had no idea what was happening.
And the First Time War began. Rogue Agents fought their former partners in a battle of time and space. Many were deleted, but the remainder of the Rogue Agents fought on. They were fighting an uphill battle and were starting to lose morale, when help appeared. Kwiksilver, Doctor Hickory, Excess Consumption and one hundred Bureau of Fiction employees stormed the Time Agency HQ in different times, and made a rip in time and space. Everything was sucked into the rip, save the Director and a few of his faithful agents.
The First Time War ended on October 5th, 2010. The Director, who had gone insane, was carted off to Owcatraz. The remainder of his forces followed him, and were stripped of their name and rank. The leader of the Rogue Agents, Roofus Scribblydor, became the new Director of the Time Agency.
Golden Years, 2010-2016
Roofus Scribblydor was a friendly and sensible leader, and in spite of the depression, he rebuilt the Time Agency from the top down. New headquarters were set up near New Club Penguin in UnitedTerra and a field office near the Mine Shack in CP. He created strict guidelines, the "Golden Rules", which were edited by Doctor Hickory. Aspiring Time Agents had to pass a test to get into the Agency, in comparison to the old days when anybody was allowed in.
Kwiksilver and Excess Consumption became revered figures, and they were given Level A Security Clearance, which meant they could take over from The Director at any time. The Agency's motto became Failure Is Not An Option. Director Roofus kept in constant contact with Mayor McFlapp throughout the Golden Years, and this proved to be invaluable during the Nightmare Epic.
Meanwhile, The Director in Owcatraz recovered his sanity, and he bribed a jailer to become a spy for him. The spy joined the Time Agency and reported daily to The Director of goings-on. On the 15th January 2016, Director Roofus was deleted. Nobody knew who did it, but the Jailer did. He had planted a crushed Deletion Crystal in the Director's tea that day. The Director appealed to the Government, and he was reluctantly reinstated.
The Fall of the Time Agency
After The Director's failed attempts to capture Kwiksilver during the Power4U Affair, he became tired of his constant escaping, and joined Mr Smith, the evil computer behind Power4U.com. Soon, Mr Smith was deleted, and The Director had nowhere to go. He was abandoned by his "faithful" agents. The Director was chased by Kwiksilver into Doctor Hickory's TARDIS, where he absorbed the Time Vortex in an attempt to bet Kwiksilver. However, he was turned into dust.
The Time Agency was leaderless, agentless and homeless. The HQ had been ransacked, it was demolished and turned into a Greenhouse by Bureau of Fiction workers. Kwiksilver, Doctor Hickory and Excess Consumption recovered all the Vortex Manipulators and had them destroyed. The Time Agency was deleted courtesy of the newly promoted Author, Mayor McFlapp.
And so ended the Time Agency, the most powerful organization in history. However, it has been said in the Auzuan Period de Slavo Crazias that hope is still possible for a future time-travelling organization to be founded in 2021.
Involvement
Entry
The secret entrance to the Time Agency HQ is through a broom closet in the Gift Shop. Once in the closet, rotate the red broom handle 45 degrees backward. The broom closet will descend down, into the depths of Antarctica and through a vast network of tunnels. The broom closet will slow, then the door will open, revealing a vast ice cave with a small table in the middle. On the table is a telephone. Dial 030457602 on the phone, then the Time Agency will lift the invisibility lock. You will see hundreds of time agents, a bank of computer screens monitoring rifts and universes, and a gadget room where time machines are kept. An alternative entry is to take the stairs from the South Pole City Gift Shop.
Job
The Time Agency repairs holes in time and gathers information about the past and future.
They are found nearly anywhere. From New Club Penguin to Eastshield and even Pengolia,anywhere inside this universe. If you're lucky, you might see a Time Agent using its Vortex Manipulator.
Agents
Registered Time Agents
Currently employed by the Time Agency.
- Ford Car (He was commander of the Time Break Response Team before he died ).
- Fisch Hochstadt (He is a very minor agent of the Time Agency. He usually is the Janitor for the HQ, but at times he is allowed to help escavate in some missions.)
Resigned Time Agents
These agents have quit the Agency and handed in their Vortex Manipulators, with the exception of Kwiksilver.
- Happyface - (Joined The Time Agency before he became governor, then quit because the Director banished Kwiksilver.)
- Kwiksilver - (Banished by the jealous Director, he now travels unregistered. He is not technically resigned, so still receives paychecks.)
- Dan Beronews - (Joined before he became Admiral, quit because the Director banished Kwiksilver.)
- Professor Bentoling - (Quit following the immorality of Operation Casino Night and following Kwiksilver's lead.)
Unregistered Time Travellers
The Time Agency keeps tabs on these penguins, who also travel through time.
- Icmer (He uses his home-made portal)
- Doctor Hickory Dickory Dock (He uses his ship, the TARDIS, to travel.)
- Willy the Penguin (He time travels with Kwiksilver occasionally.)
- Flystar (Can see the future, not travel through it.)
- Akbaboy (Enabled to Time Travel by superpowers)
- Ben Hun (on account of the Time Travel Staff)
- Richperson (Apparently his intelligence was so strong that he could create time portals)
- Gill (puffle) (Gill is currently building a time machine, so he can visit old empires of the past)
- Abdul54 (He repaired his watch to travel)
- Whoever chose to use Gary's Time Trekker in Club Penguin Island
Divisions
The Time Agency had several departments (internally referred to as divisions) over its lifespan that rose and fell in importance, or were eliminated altogether as the organisation's goals and resources changed. Although the Time Agency was dissolved in 2016, it's still possible to encounter these divisions at work around Antarctica in the present day due to their use of time travel.
Each of these divisions had specific areas of the Time Agency headquarters dedicated to it. All of these areas and their contents were presumed to have been destroyed following the Agency's dissolution.
Historical Research
The Historical Research division conducts research into both the past and the future, studying places, events and individuals that are significant in the history of Antarctica and its neighbours. This research served a dual purpose - it provided the Time Agency with information on future events in the timeline and also satisfied the PSA's goal of bettering Antarctica through time travel by improving documentation of the continent's long and storied history.
Once compiled and verified, research about the past was disseminated to the public clandestinely via the Snell-Libros of Snellville. The highly intelligent Snell-Libros were never made aware that this information was being compiled through time travel - it was provided to them mixed in with shipments of research papers from Penguin University and marked as to be indistinguishable from actual research papers. This led to a rapid rise to fame for the Snell-Libros as they quickly became revered as the most authoritative voice on Antarctican history on the continent - a status which the dedicated librarians found annoying, at best.
Unlike other divisions of the Time Agency that were composed of former PSA and EPF agents, the majority of the Agents that made up this division came from academic backgrounds and were recruited directly from Archaeology and History programs at Penguin University and Beacon University prior to its destruction in 2013. Due to their high qualifications and distribution of information via the Snellville Library, Historical Research personnel were jokingly labelled "the Snell-Libros" by other divisions.
The fallout from Operation Casino Night and the resulting schism did prompt some personnel from Historical Research to leave their roles, but the majority felt that the dissenting Agents led by Kwiksilver were overreacting. The Agency did have to fund itself somehow, and the losses of mafia-owned casinos seemed a small price to pay for continuing to conduct their research.
As the Time Agency's goals changed throughout the 2010s towards increasing militarisation, the role of Historical Research was shifted towards research into military technology and experimentation of the past and future and how the findings could be integrated into the Time Agency's arsenal. Disseminations of historical information to the Snell-Libros stopped in 2015 following the Time Agency's hard break with the EPF. Following this, the Sub-Commander and almost the entire staff resigned from their roles and handed in their Vortex Manipulators, with the general sentiment being that the division had drifted too far from its original goal. The only personnel left from this point until the Agency's dissolution were historians with a genuine interest in war or military technology.
Historical Research Areas
The Historical Research division had several areas within the Time Agency's headquarters dedicated to them.
Research was stored digitally within the Time Agency mainframe as well as physically in a colossal Filing Room in a deep level of the Time Agency's facility. Following the dissolution of the Time Agency in 2016, all physical files were completely destroyed. The status of the digital database remains unknown - the local servers were also destroyed, but it's possible that the Time Agency had stored backups in other locations or time periods.
When researching the past, the Historical Research division first amassed a stock of period-accurate clothing for its personnel to wear to minimise disturbances on the timeline. All of this clothing had to be stored somewhere, and the Time Agency happens to have one of the largest costume departments outside of The Stage. Racks upon racks of clothing and accessories from the past and future were stored in a climate-controlled room within their headquarters. Upon the dissolution of the Time Agency it was reported that all of this clothing was destroyed, however in the late 2010s and early 2020s an increased amount of 'tickets' issued by the vigilante Fashion Police seemed to indicate that some of the more out-there fashions of the past and future may have leaked to the outside world.
The division also had a floor of offices dedicated for their staff, who spent about half their time compiling research and writing up their findings.
Knowledge of the Time Agency's Downfall
In all of their research activities into the future, Historical Research ironically did not forsee the dissolution of the Time Agency in 2016 and incorrectly assumed the Agency would persist far into the future. This was mostly due to the Time Agency's success in maintaining their secrecy throughout their existence.
The Headquarters was time-locked, preventing past and future time travel within its boundaries other than for the Designated Survivor to eliminate the risk of Doomed Selves and hostile actors from the future wreaking havoc. Time travellers who left the Agency could only return no more than 1 hour after they had departed to prevent accidental paradoxes and time loops. This also created the phenomenon of agents serving for far longer than their personnel file reported - while on missions, they continued to age, but no more than 1 hour would have passed in the HQ.
Additionally - there were no physical entrances to Headquarters from Sunday Harbor, any agents walking around topside would be disguised, and any Time Agents trying to flaunt the time lock by accessing Headquarters from the future or the past were denied entry. As Sunday Harbor continued to exist far into the future (until the events of The Spitfire) it was assumed that all was well.
Due to the perceived success of the Designated Survivor programme, it wasn't thought neccesary to pursue any further future knowledge about the Agency itself. As Zuki Rallows would later prove, the Agency's hubris was to be their undoing.
Time Break Response Team
The Time Break Response Team are a branch of Time Penguins who are trained to stop time being rewritten. If time changes (Example:A day is increased to 32 hours) then they will put things right.
Background
After Chester blew desroyed that tribe, multiple rips in the fourth dimension broke open. A group of Time Travellers from the Time Agency, led by Doctor Hickory in The TARDIS, started repairing the rifts. They are still fixing them. Who sells a time machine for ten coins, anyway?
Current Jobs
- A hole has been blown at the Shiverpool train station. Inside the rift, they found various computer parts and microchips. They could also see a human looking at text that was appearing above their heads. Director Benny is frequently urging for this to be closed.
- A large, active rift has been discovered in an underwater cave on Turtle Atoll. This is proving hard to be closed, and the rift has spat out various pieces of newspaper along with a packet of something called Bird Seed which one penguin who tried it, said was delicious, but weird.
- A sinkhole in the sand pit at the Adoption Center may be a time rift. Staff are investigating.
Space Rescue Division
The Space Rescue Division keep space safe. If anything wrong happens (e.g: space ship crashes) then these agents will come to help (whether you like it or not).
Vortex Guardians
Vortex Guardians are Time Agents who close up the vortex so that no links to other universes are opened. Ford Car leads them.
Relationship to the Department of Time
New Bureau of Fiction hires, upon learning of the Time Agency's existence and huge amount of power and influence, often ask their superiors why the Masters don't actively try and intervene in its operations or even delete the whole organisation altogether. Indeed, one of the few things that Mayor McFlapp and Director Benny agree upon is that the Time Agency is incredibly dangerous for the stability of our universe.
| “ | The Time Agency is a bally ABOMINATION, wot! Time travel is already a bloomin' nuisance, what with all those time loops and doomed timelines and...(shudder) alternate selves. The absolute devastation they have caused, the damage that has been done and will be done to the timeline, are unlike nothing any Master before me has had to deal with, doncha know! If it was up to me, I'd delete the bally lot of them, wot wot...but alas, my wings are tied on this one I'm afraid! | ” |
The only reason that the Bureau has done nothing about the Time Agency is because of a directive from the enigmatic Board of Fiction themselves. An anonymous source from the Department of Time explained:
| “ | Well, uh...You didn't hear it from me, but the Board - apparently, all thirteen of those shadowy folks - decided that we were to take no action on the Time Agency. Nothing at all, no matter what they do - which is crazy! Uh...do you understand paradoxes, time loops, stuff like that? The reason they gave was that the Department of Time itself is actually descended from the Time Agency somehow. So at some point, they must go back in time and become us, apparently? If we mess with the Time Agency in any way, it could break the time loop and cause a doomed timeline, destroying the Bureau as we know it!
Anyway...you said you were going to give me some Judgies? |
” |
— Anonymous Department of Time Employee
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The Department of Time is, in fact, older than the Bureau of Fiction itself and little to no documents still exist from the Bureau's founding. The Board of Fiction themselves are also famously incomprehensible and reclusive, so there's little hope of getting further information out of them in regards to the reasoning behind their decision. With time travel also not being possible within the void that contains the actual BoF facility itself, it's impossible for Department of Time employees to actually verify their origin.
The working theory among Department staff is that at some point after the Time Agency's dissolution in 2016, remaining agents travelled back with their equipment to an early point in the universe's history, entered the void containing the Fourth Wall and created the cylindrical structure that contains the Bureau of Fiction's facility as their base. Over the millennia that followed, they studied the Fourth Wall and eventually developed the technology to control and shape it, gradually morphing into the organisation we know today as the Universal Bureau of Fictitious Literature. Timeline monitoring and control simply became a department within the larger organisation - the modern day Department of Time.
Other personnel within the Bureau of Fiction disagree with this theory, arguing that the notion that such an important organisation arising through a paradox is incredibly unlikely and opt for alternate explanations such as the Bureau of Fiction being created by the Holy Wikia.
How can you help?
These are the current job offers:
Monitor: Make sure that all Space Ships/Time Machines have been registered.
Time Break Response Team: A great but dangerous job.
Alien Biologist: Yes, that gross job which includes scanning Aliens, Humans, and their organs.
Trivia
- Kwiksilver
might beis one. - Mwa Mwa Penguins are afraid of these Penguins.
- Explorer frequently complains about this agency; as he puts it:
"Time travel in fictional universes is dangerous! It is a specialized variation of teleporting and rift-crossing, but it can do nasty things when you incorrectly manipulate it! Do you know who killed off the Ughdinotikigrublava tribe? That's right, a foolish time-traveling client screwed up! What were you thinking, selling him a time machine for ten coins?! If one penguin killed a whole tribe, imagine what an AGENCY would do!"
- Richperson has fought several agency members when using a time portal at the same time as them. Unfortunately, he was outnumbered and lost.
- Unlike regular clocks, the numbers means centuries and milleniums instead of minuites and hours. It is currently pointing at the two.
- Gary the Gadget Guy secretly competes with them, since he created his own Time Machine in 2013.