The Travels of Austin8310
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This tale has been told! It's done! |
This is the Journal of Austin8310. If you're reading this, presumably, I'm dead or I've lost this. Or you know me already, and reading this is pointless.
Pengolia, January 19
Okay, I've picked up this book. See, I do a lot of stuff. And a lot of it is memorable. So, I'm gonna write it down.
Pengolia, January 23
Yikes, Winston is trailing me. And yesterday was miserable.
FLASHBACK, January 21
It was a normal day in the Khanz Palace, and Penghis Khan, Koobly Khan, and Pengolians were everywhere. Anyway, Penghis Khan was taking his "Totally Awesome Pengolian Shower."
"Ahh, Penghis Khan likes his shower."
"Yes sir. Khanz Minion 2-2-4, go get some pizza."
A jail somewhere, ???
Ow. Uhnnng, I just woke up. WHAT?!? My player card has been stripped! They stole my shotgun, my knicicle, AND MY BEAUTIFUL PROTRACTER! NOOO, not my beautiful protracter! Hey...I still have a fish.
That same old Jail Cell, ???
My plan is going well. I'm in a cell with a Walrus. He tried to bite me, and yelled stuff. Noob. I think he was in there for "Disturbing the peace." Disturbing the peace? Nah. Destroying the peace would be more like it. Lets see, I'm going to need a fish, a bucket, a lockpick, and a 1500's clothing item. I have a fish...
THAT SAME OLD STUPID JAIL CELL, ???
This is taking longer than I thought. I have a fish, the walrus broke part of his tusk and I sharpened it to make a lockpick, and I figgered I could just use the Walrus as a bucket. Now for a 1500s clothing item...
THAT SAME OLD JAIL CELL!!!
My plan is complete. I decided I will improvise on the 1500 clothing. I see two of these penguins in blue clothing outside of the gate...2 are patrolling across the yard. Hmm...My shotgun and knicicle and protracter and...ew. My old socks. They're hanging on a rack over near the stairs. I don't think I'll pick those up. Yeahh. Okay, here goes!
Dorkugal, February 28
Wow, I was in there for a while. I escaped. First, I stood on the walrus and picked the lock. Then, I smashed the other lock with my fish, and the door creaked open. I told the walrus to go that way as a distraction. I told him that I would give him 10 coins, but I ended up paying him more. I hate math. Anyway...so, he went that way, and the two guards patrolling in the yard chased him. One lagged behind, and I gave him a good whap with my fish. I quickly shoved his clothing except for his 1500's robes under that into my player card, and jumped back into the cell, pretending I was caught. The other guy shoved the walrus back into another cell, and I pretended those locks were functional. I then put on the Dorkuguese clothing, and gripped the tranquilizer gun. As the other guy was walking back to the yard, I shot him in the back with the Tranquilizer gun. I had 2 bullets left. I charged, and shot one down. The other one shot back, but it ricocheted off the wall and bounced away. I then ran to my items hanging up, and grabbed the shotgun, knicicle, and protracter. I then jumped off the wall, caught a tree, slid down, and made a break for it. Then I had a coffee drink. Mmm, I like mochas.
Metro Train, March 5
I'm taking a Metro Train across Antartica to Club Penguin Island right now. I'm sitting next to a dude. Says his name is Flystar. He's a pretty interesting guy. Says he has super-powers. Interesting guy.
Club Penguin Island, March 10
Wow! I finally got myself a good fighting job. I was walking around these igloos. And then, I heard some guy yelling. So, I went in, and saw him glaring at a letter. I heard what he had said, as he had read it out loud. So, I interrupted him and said: "I can help."
The guy turned around to see me leaning on the doorway.
"Who are you, I ask?" he said. His name was Swiss Ninja. He's the king of Snowzerland! This is gonna be a great job.
"Name's Austin. Austin8310 to be exact. I think I can help you with finding your brother."
"I am listening. What do you want me to pay you with?"
"Money, Fame, Glory, maybe? All that good stuff. Y'know?"
"Fine. Just remember to capture Explorer and Fred too, because they are my enemies."
"Sorry, Explorer cannot be captured, but Fred is doable. That shovel of his..."
"Good. I Hearby entitle you the Royal Bounty Hunter of Snowzerland. Your Mission is to find Fred And Fisch. They are currently in South Pole City, with Fred probably at the Council building and Fisch at a new home. I expect you to kidnap them without anyone noticing until you are gone. We will provide you with all the neccecary supplies, if needed. Oh, and bring me the Amulet of Language in one piece to me!"
"Alright. Pleasure doing business with you. I'll track em down and deliver em by next two weeks. SPC huh? I'll be there."
So, I'm taking a train to SPC. Beware, Fisch. I'm coming.
SPC, March 20
While everyone was at war, the Royal Bounty Hunter, aka: me! arrived at the Maritime Station to start his mission an hour after Swiss Ninja left. I took the express train to SPC to find his targets, and arrived the next day, on March 20. I disguised myself with a large coat and Hat that covered my eyes and body from the kit Swiss gave me. I approached the Ticket Counter in South Pole City's Station. "Hey, you!" I said.
"Can I help you sir?"
"Yeah. A couple of days ago, did you happen to see a Goofy lookin' High Penguin dude who was wearing a Fish Costume?"
"You mean Fisch Hochstadt, that Fish Warrior guy?"
"Yeah. You know where he went? I...um...have a buisness meeting."
"I thought I heard his friend, that Nerd, Fred 676, say that Fisch was to be staying somewhere in Booklin."
"Where in Booklin?"
"I didn't hear all the way, but I think the house was in that gated community full of those new houses...."
"Thanks."
I then quickly walked away and called for a Taxi, and drove to the gated community. I then asked for Fisch Hochstadt, and was guided toward his house.
I knocked on the door, and waited. Then, Fisch Hochstadt opened the door.
Quickly, I decided I wanted to end this quickly. I threw my knicicle at Fisch, but it missed and stuck itself in the windowpane behind him.
Fisch muttered, "What now..." and smacked me in the face with his fish and knocked me out of the window.
I hate thorn bushes. I especially hate getting into thrown into thorn bushes. And I really hate getting kicked into thorn bushes. I rubbed off the thorns, and ran to the door. He just really asked for it.
It was locked. I then smashed the wooden door open with his fish after 4 whacks. Pulling out my shotgun, I dropped 3 times the necessary ditto into the shell. It's one of my tricks.
Suddenly, Fisch leaped from the top floor. I didn't exspect that, and was knocked to the ground and pummeled. My shotgun flew across the room and landed on the ledge.
"Drat. How can I have fought Doom Knights and Geek Squad and get pwned by THIS GUY!??" I said as I pulled out his last remaining weapon, a fish.
Fisch and I fought up the stairs. Fisch was winning, but I was driving him up the stairs.
"Just...4...more...steps..."
Fisch slammed the door on me.
I panted but grinned. That was exactly what I wanted. He had dropped something down the stairs, and I picked it up.
It was the Amulet of Language. It was the only reason he had gotten this far without capture, and now he slammed the door on it. I reached for it and tied it around his neck.
"So this is what you were using against me, eh? Maybe Swiss Ninja will give me more money when I deliver this to him."
"Oh, @##%$%#!"
It is not nice to say bad words, Fisch! Amulet of Language: Give me a...hambur-NO!!! A Ditto Bomb!" I don't know what I was thinking. If I had said hamburger...well, I don't want to think about that.
In a flash, a ditto bomb appeared in my flipper, and I threw it at the door.
Crack!
The Bomb exploded the door into splitery wood chips. I then quickly ran inside and grabbed a vase. Fisch fell during the explosion, but got up and was about to strike me with a sword.....
When I smashed the vase on Fisch's head. Fisch fainted and collapsed.
"Finally. This is actually a worthwhile job!"
I also was able to obtain a large wooden crate from the Amulet of Language to put Fisch's Body in. He trasported the crate to his suite at the Grant Zuidpool Hotel to keep it in, and went about with the amulet to find Fred 676.
One down, one to go.
I stepped out of the bus to see the South Pole Council Building Outside. I looked around, to see if I could spot his target. I didn't see anyone.
I entered the Building causally to see the council at it's business, including Jsudsu, who had already recovered from the incedent. Fred was sitting at his desk near his brother, Explorer 767. He was scribbling numbers and calculations on a chalkboard. I walked toward him, with no one having a slight care about him being there. Even as I approached him, Fred didn't bother to pay attention to him. "Hi, Fred."
"I have no time for questions, young hypotenuse!" he said, obviously taking his calculations seriously. I had time to take out some rope and duct tape....this would hopefully be quick.
Whack! I smacked em with a Fish, and then I quickly tied him up with the ropes while wrestling. This, however, alerted the whole council. Explorer and others got up out of his desk. They charged angrily toward me! Jsudsu broke the silence.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!" he screamed, as he tackled Explorer. Everyone forgot about me, and joined the fight. I ran off and carried Fred's Body back to the Hotel, and put Fred into the same crate with Fisch. The next day, I took the crate with him onto a plane bound for Snowzerland.
I like this job. A lot.
Keukenhof Castle, March 15.
Wow. I got paid a TON for capturing that. Swiss has conquered almost all of Antartica. Problem is, I don't think he'll have it for long. People are getting angry. I was wearing a Snowzerland pin, and people tried to hurt me as I walked by. Definetly ditching the Snowzerland pin. Well, I better get out of here. I'm pretty sure something bad will happen to Swiss sooner or later, so I'm leaving. I'm ordering a train ticket right now, out of Snowzerland to Something to Shiverpool. Here I go.
July 22...SPC
Don't ask. I lost my journal in shiverpool, and found it at the lost in found 3 months later. Wow...So much has happened!
...
Great Snowzerland War II, in which I PWNED Ninjahopper...
I met Penghis Khan and got an autograph...
I fought a skua and kicked him off...
I got a bounty hunter job for three Hammer Knights and PWNED them...
I talked with my old friend Johnathan Wolfhunter...
I got an X Antibody...and it almost killed me...
I fought a TaliBEAN...
I tricked some noob into playing PICKUP 64 at Bugzy's Casino that is DEFINETLY LEGAL...
So many things...
Prepare for a LOT of flashbacks...
Flashback No. 1: Autograph from Penghis Khan.
Coming soon. I've got a phone call right now.
Okay, I'm going to come back and do this one...
Flashback No. 2: Ninjahopper? PWNT.
I walked timidly into the Throne Room in the Keukenhof Castle. Swiss was sitting on his throne, wearing a red king's cape.
"Your Highness, you have a job for me?"
"Yes. I already have the money for you: "10,000 Coins."
"But, Sir...."
"What? Why aren't you happy that you are getting money?"
"No, I am pleased you thought of me, but I would like to work for you, For Free."
Ya see, SN pwns. I just don't feel like telling him that.
Swiss Ninja raised his eyebrows.
"I am impressed, yet very happy."
So, then I nodded in approval.
"Your Mission is simple: Capture Ninjahopper!!!! You have impressed me with capturing my Brother and Fred, so i want you to do this again. Remember: You are still the Royal Bounty Hunter!"
Well, I didn't agree with that. "What? How is this possible? He is the Future Sensei! He is too powerful to defeat! Even though I'm already a ninja, that's kind of...impossible."
"Ah, he may be an expirenced Ninja, but he still has much to learn! Here are some Power Cards. Use them to defeat Ninjahoppper."
Swiss gave him 15 power cards, and I accepted them. Swiss also gave him a Fire Ninja Costume as a disguise, and some plane tickets.
"Hurry along now, its a big trip."
"Goodbye, Swiss Ninja."
"Good Luck."
I left 5 hours later to Fanon City. Then, I took the Overnight Train to CP, at the Maritime Station.
9:30 PM: I walked with my (weird) costume to the Dojo. It was full of White Belts, so they just marveled at me for being such a high rank. Heh.
"I hope this works."
I approached a White Belt.
"Hey Kid! Do you know where Ninjahopper is?"
"Oh great Master of Fire....."
Suddenly, the white belt grabbed my belt and tried to...well, he wouldn't let go!
"Forget that, kid! I'm in a hurry! LET GO OF MY BELT! I need to know where that Ninjahopper guy is!!!!!!! DONT CALL ME THAT!!!!!"
The White Belt began to Cry. A Brown belt approached me.
"Why do you want to know?" the Brown Belt Inquired, harshly.
I guess I stammered a bit.... "Oh, you know, i am a.... Good Friend of him! We trained together! Uh...yeah."
"Why didn't you say so? He is at the Ninja Hideout!"
I slipped away to the Ninja Hideout. There in the midst was Ninjahopper, playing a game with True Sensei.
"Just too easy....One good shot should do it."
FWOOSH!!!!
I then PWNT Ninjahopper with Fire from the Fire Ninja Suit. He hit Ninjahopper square, and Ninjahopper was down. I then got out an ice card and froze NH with it to carry. I also trapped True Sensei, but I didn't take him with me. (like I could have.)
Later, I presented the frozen Ninjahopper to Swiss Ninja.
"Wonderful. Guards! Take the Body to Pen Chi Island!!!!"
"Once again, you have succeeded. You even doubted yourself!"
"I guess. But I don't think True Sensei will be very happy about what we just did. Ah, who cares."
"I am proud."
The next day, Swiss was reading the newspaper. I had made him breakfast, but he didn't seem to like it. Oh well. I guess not everyone likes sliced fish.
NINJAHOPPER KIDNAPPED!
Last night, terrorist organization Anonymous have kidnapped heir to the yang side of the Ninja throne. Anonymous, the terrorist group with unclear intentions, have gone too far. Using an upgraded Anon disguised as a fire ninja, they; Swiss Ninja teared the paper up.
"Argh! They believe it's terrorists" he said, furiously burning the paper. I walked in, after doing some weekly shopping. Yes, I did weekly shopping.
"I'm back! They think that some terrorist group did it. Sucess! This is great!" I exclaimed.
"No. They must know it's me".
"It isn't too late to claim responsibility. Anonymous deny everything. I'll write to the US government and Sensei Wraith, his brother. Easy solution.".
"Don't say your name. Just say that I ordered the kidnapping of Ninjahopper"
"Oh and that you ordered the attempted assaination on True Sensei. After all, I knocked him out. Just to make you seem notorious".
"If it makes you happy, then yes".
"Thank you!". And with that, I left.
"This will be good" Swiss Ninja chuckled.
When we left to the Dojo to take control, it was a long march.
Snowzerland War Bots and Sensei Wraith Ninjas surrounded the Sanctuary Entrance. They waited with their armed weapons for the Penguins to come out. The Door Finally Opened slowly. Suddenly, Jock and Fisch appeared with their eyes glowing.
FWOOSH!!!!
FWOOSH!!!!
FWOOSH!!!!
FWOOSH!!!!
They were blasting hugh fireballs at the Soldiers! Many of them ran away, while the War Bots were destroyed in the blasts. Fisch and Jock's Eyes stopped glowing, and they and the other two (Clovis and Corai) escaped the room back to the Dojo. Outside the Dojo and Around all of CP, there were tons of Snowzerland War Bots and Soldiers Surrounding the Dojo and occupying the island. There was even a thousand ships surrounding the island as well, most of them were battling the Viking Ships.
Water Sensei and Corai's Four men returned to the Group.
WS: "There is no way that we can defeat them.... there is just too many..." Water Sensei collapsed and covered his face in fear.
Clovis: "Come on, be merry! We can do it!"
Now, Clovis, Fisch, and Jock went into the Sensei State (when their eyes glow and they get power) and exited the Dojo. Corai was the only one who didn't go into the State.
Corai: "I am NOT a ninja!!!!"
However, a whisper from somwhere told him, "It is who you are. Dont worry, we will take care of everything."
This Convinced Corai, too, to go into the Sensei state. He went out to the Dojo Courtyard with the others.
The Four Penguins stood out in the Courtyard in plain sight, while still in the Sensei State. The Soldiers saw this, and got ready to strike them down.
Swiss Ninja stood with his men. He commanded:
"Arm the Catapults and destroy them!"
The Men quickly armed the catapults with fireballs.
"FIRE!!!!" The Fireballs flew towards the Dojo at a tremendous speed. It was Clovis who made the first move.
He was bending a bunch of snow (using Snowbending and the Sensei State) around him, and used it as a shield to deflect (barely) the first fireball hits, but the areas where the balls hit turned to water.
Fisch turned toward the Ships, and created and controlled a huge wave that capsized all the Snowzerland ships! (but not the viking ships)
Swish!!!!
This was a good relief for the viking ships.
Jock and Corai stepped in unison and blasted a huge, never ending fireblast at the Forces on the Ground.
FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!
"Retreat!!" Swiss Cried. All the Soldiers ran towards the sea. Then, All Four Penguins created another great wave that swallowed Swiss Ninja, Sensei Wraith, the Solders, and the ships. They then sent them all the way back to Snowzerland.........
After we had landed on snowzerland, I was able to crawl up to the beach.
"I guess that didn't work so well. What gave them the power to shoot FIREBALLS at us?!? How did they..."
I guess I then passed out on the sand.
A few days later, Swiss and most of his troops were together again. However, Swiss didn't have enough troops. "Grrr. I have 40 less soldiers. Those ones are still in the hospital. "
Austin8310 came up and said, "I have a solution."
Swiss Ninja stared at him and laughed. "You're a BOUNTY HUNTER! You're not good at battle plans, or recruiting! Walking around with that big fish makes you look like Penghis Khan!"
Austin8310 glared at him. "MUST...NOT...WHACK...WITH.........Well, anyway, my plan was an old contact of mine. Johnathan Wolfhunter is the name of the guy. He leads a troop of Panzergrenaders. They sound cooler than war bots anyway. So, I could get him to come round and give you some help. I'm sure I can get him on discount...I think."
Swiss Ninja realized that a battalion of panzergrenadiers would be a welcome addition to his forces, and told Austin to call em up. I picked up my phone and called him. It rang about 10 times before he FINALLY answered.
"Hello? Johnathan speaking".
"It's Austin" Austin replied.
"Great time to call. I was hired for a mission - involved TaliBEAN".
"Sounds great".
"Wasn't. Thanks to your phone ringing I missed my shot, the TaliBEAN found me, could had laughed to death but at least I killed the dealer. The Penguin Police Troop and the Terrain Spy Union will evac me and clean up the mess. Yeah what it is? Need me?"
"Well let's say Swiss Ninja needs you".
"Ohhhh... I don't know... I had to fight him during the war".
"Forget that. He needs help. There's a Sensei war - Ninjahopper got kidnapped by terrorists. Everyones fighting over it". I didn't want to tell the truth, otherwise I would have "decieved" Swiss and wouldn't want to get in trouble.
"Their war. Not mine".
"C'mon Johnathan". Johnathan sighed.
"Cause we're mates, ok".
"Cool!"
"Where am I needed?"
I went off the phone for a bit.
I put the phone on hold.
"Where should we send his Panzergrenadiers?" I asked Swiss.
"Most Pen Chi Island. The rest with our army fighting Sensei Wraith and Water Sensei. Oh and four companies for Pen Chi, a platoon for the Dojo". "Send four companies to Pen Chi Island".
"Big order. Most of my PMC".
"But your best Platoon at the Dojo".
"Sure thing! That will be 40 million fishes".
"WHAAAAAAAAAA?"
"Swiss is rich. He can pay".
"Yeah. It must be big business".
"It is Well got to go, cya". Johnathan cut off the phone.
I hung up and grinned at swiss.
"We got him - for 40 million fishes".
"Pay the guy" Swiss said. "I have a Maverick bank acount - I'll give it to him via that".
I then saluted Swiss.
"Oh... and whatever happens... don't let him anywhere near Ninjahopper's cell - we'll loose him otherwise" Swiss ordered.
"Yes boss".
After more traveling, we went back to the dojo. We got in battle positions, and prepared to fight. Swiss snapped his fingers and the 30 grenadiers opened fire. They blasted the doors wide open and the doors flew. One landed near Corai, the other near the river.
Jock Hochstadt yelled and had his army charge. They started destroying War Bots, but being frozen by ditto Grenades, and smacked by soldiers. Swiss saw Jock in the middle of the battle and pulled out his deck. He threw a 10 snow at him, and an avalanche started from the mountain. Unluckily for Jock, he threw a 5 Water card at him. He sprayed a wave of water around his soldiers, but it was frozen into ice. It cost Jock precious time hacking away at the ice. By that time, Swiss and his army were entering the dojo. Unluckily for him...
Water Sensei was sitting in the river for a reason. He stood up, and blasted the river at Swiss Ninja and his troops. It washed him down the mountain, and the four Bayonet Troopers fired compressed frozen pizzas to make sure they dont try to get back up.
Swiss angrily stared at the smoking dojo, and wondered how he had been subdued AGAIN. He was going back. Tonight.
Anyway, in the end, we lost. But I don't have time to write that now, and I've got to go. I've got an...appointment...with the Underground PWN Mafia tonight.
At Underground PWN Mafia
I have to hide the journal. I'm going into the...building.
2 hours later.
I have a job. Sorry, PSA, but you're about to lose five gigabytes of videotape. See, Bugzy did some...well, that's classified, and I was hired to...do a little work. Heh. Little work.
PSA Headquarters, July 30
I hate to double cross. But, that's my job. Now, I probably might lose Agent status. Ahh, well, with the money I'm getting it'll be worth it. Okay, into the HQ. Time to do some dirty work.
I've done it. I sliced the wires, loaded the data onto a SB card, and ditched the place. There were a few agents there, but I laid them down. Well, most of them. Two of them got away. Ha, wimpy agents. Well, anyway, I should go and return that. Eh, I don't trust the Underground PWN Mafia. I'm ditchin the place.
So anyway....
Flashback: Owcatraz, unknown
I was at Owcatraz. Don't ask why. So, I was on the outside of the jail. I had a client on the side of good who was supposed to meet me here. It was about 5 in the morning, so I was still tired.
Ya can't trust everyone on email. Two skuas jumped me. Unluckily, I got beaten up and one stole my fish and the other stole my snowball gun. However, I pulled out my rollback gun and blasted them.
Instantly, it was 5 minutes ago. I was walking toward the area cautiously with my fish, and then they jumped me again. This time, I was ready and pounded them into the ground.
Some people you just can't trust in this line of work.
August 1, 2010
Well, since my last 5 posts were about war and battles, I'm going to relay more of my casual life here. Oh...I have to go to a...BUISNESS MEETING? Drat.
August 5, 2010
Whew, finally had time to write. Right now I'm at the Hochstadt Canyon. It's cool. Although a lot of people are saying two guys couldn't have made it, they obviously haven't seen a Hochstadt in full blazin Sensei State.
Did I mention I don't like High Penguins?
I'm a big fan of Whoot, being Pengolian and all. I have his autograph in the back of the book.
Anyway, I'm on the tour boat. It's going through the creek now. Hey, look at that! There's a deserted place, and...yeah. Cool place. Anyway, I have to leave the tour place. I'm going to go play at Las Puffles. Ahhh, I haven't had to fight in a long time.
Finish
My life is getting too busy now to write in this book. Appointments with Swiss, BoF raids, Flywish's meetings, work with XTUX, extra jobs...honestly, I'm much too busy to write any more.
BTW, N008f4c3$ stink. Khanzem was awesome.
THE END.