The Absurd Mission/Chapter 1

Chapter One: The Assignment

Leaving Snowzerland

Austin was lounging on the back of one of Swiss's comfy chairs. Nearby was his long time friend Johnathan, aiming his sniper rifle at one of the plates on the mantel. Also nearby was Java, modifying his jetpack. He had grease and stains all over his flippers and was furiously pounding it with the wrench. SN wasn't in the room at the time, and Vincent and Rex were playing a game of cards. Johnathan set his gun down and looked at Austin.

"Y'know, it's been a while since we've done anything since Traveling of Antarctica." he said. Vincent looked over his shoulder.

"Well, yah, it has been, but I like free time." Rex looked behind his shoulder and smirked. "Really, Vincent? I'm kind of getting bored around here."

Suddenly, the doors slammed open. "SOLDIERS!" cried SN, trying to be dramatic, "WE HAVE A NEW MISSION!" He started to talk very quickly and exitedly. "We-found-out-that-the-Hochstadt-scum-are-taking-a-vacation-in-CP-and-I'm-gonna-send-a-couple-of-you-to-them-and-so---"

"WHOAH, WHOAH, SLOW DOWN!" cried Austin. "We can't even understand what you're saying." Swiss Ninja glared at him. "Well, Austin, my spies found out that the Gang is staying in Club Penguin for a while. I'm going to send Austin out to find information about the locals, recruit a couple gangsters, and then after around 3 weeks, I'll send all you after him, and we'll GET THEM!" Austin thought for a second. "So, Swiss, when should I be on my way?" Swiss stared at him impatiently. "Well, I was kind of hoping NOW?" Austin sighed, said goodbye to his friends, and went to his room to pack.

After walking through the long halls to his room, he pulled out a suitcase, and started flipping through his player card. He opened his storage trunk and pulled out a few Snoss clothes, his rollback gun (which he brushed the dust off of), a few pictures of him having fun with the others, his sword, his snowball gun, and a couple of assorted weapons. As he pulled through the old clothing, an old book fell out. Flipping through the pages, he saw it was his old journal. Ahh. The old times when he hadn't had a job. He remembered those. He stuffed his book into his player card, and walked out of the room, leaving it empty. As he walked out, the door shut behind him.

As Austin was going to the airport, he saw the great sight of Snowzerland. Ah, it was a pretty decent place in his mind. The one problem was that the USA felt threatened, and had small skirmishes and battles with Snowzerland from time to time. However, Snowzerland had perfect right to take those islands. Or at least, that is what he thought. Getting onto the plane, he remembered how that stuffy airport official...Saint Monte Caption? Sancho Mountain Caphead? Sacker Monte Captio? Whatever his name was, he had "blocked" Austin from flying. However, Austin just quickly switched his clothing out and got on the plane. Ha. As if a mere ban on flying could stop him. He still disliked doing this though. It was timeconsuming and annoying.

The plane flight was pretty generic. He looked out the windows. He slept. He tapped on the window with his flipper. He threw those disgusting peanut snacks at the flight attendant, who glared at him. Overall, he was pretty glad when he stepped onto the fresh snow of the Club Penguin Island Airport.

The CP Ferry

As he stepped onto the ferry into CP, he looked around. He saw a black penguin, with a black hood, with yellow eyes. Now THAT could be a good recruit. He stepped up to him.

"Hello. My name is Austin. Would you be interested in a job?"

"Nah. We're all gonna die eventually."

Austin glared at him. "What's your deal? Did your puffle bite you or something?"

"No. I'm just depressed."

Austin looked at him. "How come?"

"It's kind of a race thing."

"Hey, you kind of remind me of my friend Metal. He's an inventor."

The small black penguin had walked away and was looking over the rail, clearly bored with Austin. Austin turned around and looked for somebody else to talk to. He spotted a green adeilie penguin, sketching. He walked over to him.

"Hello. My name's Austin. Who're you?"

"Oh. Me? I'm a scientist. I come from Trans-Antartica. I come to help out with the EPF."

Austin was mildly interested. "Oh, really? Hmm. Whaddya think of Snowzerland?"

The green adielie looked a bit disgusted. "Well, I'm not sure what to think. Their RDA is a marvelous place, but they really are kind of agressive."

"What's your name?"

"Oh, I'm John44. Traditional numbers, y'know?"

"Yeah. I'm Austin8310."

"Say, do Pengolians really slap each other with fish and stuff? I was kind of wondering, since you...well, you're Pengolian, you would know."

"Oh, yeah! It's a tradition! See that Pengolian over there? Watch this!"

Austin waddled up to the grey Pengolian and smacked him with his fish. The grey Pengolian smacked him back. Austin smacked the grey Pengolian. The Grey Pengolian smacked him. Austin was decked to the floor, and Austin got back up and walked back over to John.

"See, that's how it works. We slap each other until once of us gets knocked over."

"Doesn't that HURT?!?"

Austin stared at him. "Buddy, pain is part of life. You get used to it. Ever had your flipper broken by an angry High Penguin Ninja?"

John shrugged. "I've been fortunate enough not to. Anyway, the ferry's almost here. Wanna be my buddy?"

Austin nodded, and they friended eachother as the ferry landed. Austin set foot on CP's shore... And started the mission.