Sockan Brand Cactus Extract
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| Sockan Brand Cactus Extract | |
|---|---|
 DRINK SBCE; IT'S THE MOST QUENCHY THING EVER!! | |
| Information | |
| Type | Drink |
| Effects | Induces traits similar to drunkeness if taken in excess (non-addictive) |
| Source | Ever seen that Cactus furniture? Just insert the spigot and IT'S THE QUENCHIEST! |
| Location | Sold at assorted GoodyMarts, drink stands, ect. |
| Cost to buy | 100 coins |
| Cost to sell | 3 coins |
Sockan Brand Cactus Extract, also called Cactus Extract, The Most Quenchy, Sockan Juice, and SBCE, is a drink made primarily out of cactus juice and Cream Soda, plus a few other unknown ingredients. While it is delicious, take it in moderation, or bad things will happen.
Background
Every now and then, characters grow tired of cream soda and coffee. They turn to other things, like tea, milk, or water. Or, they'll make something of their own.
Sockan Brand Cactus Extract was created in Freezeland in 2008, where the attitudes towards drinks that cause weird behavior are laxed, and where such regulations do not exist. An entrepenurial High Penguin with the ability to control water created the drink after extracting juice from an imported Large Cactus furniture item.
Combining the cactus juice with Cream Soda, sugar, and some other ingrediants produces SBCE. One Large Cactus can yield seven gallons of extract, which can be made into eight gallons of SBCE. It has proven to be very popular amongst High Penguins, though Lessers seem to shy away from it.
Ingredients
While the exact composition of Sockan Extract is unknown, this is the recipe that people managed to gather from lab analysis and word of mouth. SBCE is made in the gallon.
To make one gallon of Sockan Brand Cactus Extract, one needs these known ingrediants:
- Three quarts of pure cactus juice.
- Ten cups of sugar.
- One pint of cream soda.
- Eighteen cups of Soda Root.
- Four cups of cinnamon.
- Two pints of Ditto minus-X.
However, that isn't all that's in SBCE. That's just what's known. All that is known after the ingrediants is that water must be added until one gallon of mixture is attained. The gallon is to be stirred, then boiled for two hours (with regular stirring), then cooled overnight before being packaged into glass bottles.
Side effects
Sockan Brand Cactus Extract, however, comes with a very infamous side effect. Drinking too much SBCE causes temporary insanity, hallucinations commonly involving mushrooms or other fungi, odd dancing, random utterings, and an overall unstable state of mind which, strangely, also causes the drunkard to advertise the drink ("It will quench you!"). Creatures are urged to take SBCE in extreme moderation to avoid getting high on the drink. Other side effects include dilated pupils, fever-related sweating, and a high-pitched, delirious voice. (Creatures drunk on cactus juice are observed to have a moderate-grade fever.)
Why does Cactus Juice make this happen?
The material responsible enters the bloodstream within a short amount of time, first entering the brain. A chemical in the cactus juice called ditto minus-X (ditto plus, 25% more ditto A, 50% more X Virus and 5% more of a strange computer virus) sabotages the brain, first the cerebellum, then all over. It, in turn, causes those symptoms described above to occur.
Legality
| Country | Legality | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| United States of Antarctica | Varies by jurisdiction | The legality of Sockan Juice is left up to each state and sub-levels. All court challenges have determined criminalization or decriminalization of SBCE as a political question, meaning it is not their business and up to the rest of the government. In some parts of the Happyface State, SBCE is as legal as it is in Freezeland, while in western Eastshield, some cities and rural areas have totally outlawed it, and in the dryest of areas, Cream Soda is out too. West Pengolia has also prohibited SBCE completely, after several guards drank it, went insane, and slapped Penghis Khan, calling him "an unfriendly mushroom". |
| Freezeland | Legal | Freezelandian law does permit local communities to ban SBCE by public referendum. |
| MAI | Legal | MAI law forbids communities from enacting legislation stricter than the nation's laws on SBCE and similar drinks, thereby forbidding any ban on the drink. |
| East Pengolia | Illegal (de facto) | Officially, the drink is banned in East Pengolia (due to pressure from West Pengolia). However, workers still drink it, and the police look the other way (and are encouraged to do so by the country's higher governmental bodies!). |
| Dorkugal | Varies by jurisdiction | While the Googlplex (Dorkugal's population hub) outlawd SBCE by royal edict, the open-air jurisdictions of Dorkugal, like Evil Lake and the airports, allow it, but it can't be brought into the Googolplex. |
| Lichenblossom | Legal | In Redlink Abbey, a royal edict by a past Abbess legalized SBCE. Other jurisdictions on the islands forbid enacting legislation stricter than the nation's laws on SBCE and similar drinks, thereby forbidding any ban on the drink, like in MAI. The rest of lezalization was also performed in Razzamatazatron and other settlements, creating a patchwork of legality that pretty much allows the drink to flow on the entire island. |
| Ghostlia | Legal | It is rumored that Ghostly35 is the way he is because he drinks so much Cactus Extract. |
| Club Penguin | Illegal | Although part of the USA, CP is usually considered separate. The manufacture, sale, consumption and transportation of SBCE is punished with a permaban. The Moderators made sure of this to ensure morality and sanity. (Mwa Mwa Penguins drink a lot of the stuff.) This makes Club Penguin one of the driest anti-SBCE areas of all, second to parts of Eastshield and West Pengolia. |
| Waffleland | Legal | Cactus Juice is a favourite topping on Waffles in Waffleland, and it's their favourite drink, even raplacing water (don't drink the "water" in Waffleland or it'll also do stuff to your mind) Legend says that this is why Wafflieans are so stupid, having spent their entire lives drinking cactus juice. |
| Austiceia | Legal | SBCE is very popular in Austiceia. It is often served as a drink during celebrations and parties. However, Austiceian law states that only a creature that is older than 18 years of age (in human years) can drink it. |
| Snowzerland | Legal | The drink used to be illegal, but after massive protesting, the ban was lifted. However, Mwa Mwa Penguins must only use it on special occasion or with permission from a parent. |
| Shops Island | Legal | Up until 2018, there were no laws regarding Cactus Juice in 2018; most police departments just treated it as a special type of Cream Soda. When Ghostlia sent president Lavender some Cactus Juice as a "get well soon" gift after his accident, acting president LMGT quietly legalized it by executive order to avoid any legal controversy. |
Trivia
- Drink Sockan Brand Cactus Juice. It's the quenchiest.
- This is a parody of a susbtance consumed by a protagonist in Avatar's Last Airbender. He got high on the stuff and went totally berserk.
- The medical term for going insane on the juice is called "Sokka's Drunkenness Syndrome".
- It'll quench ya.
- Ponyo Penguin recalls seeing Sokka drinking Sockan Brand Cactus Extract. Apprently he got the two mixed up. Then she was all like "whaaat" and he was all like "whaaat" and it went on like that for who-knows-how-long.
- Andrew K. Rapone is addicted to it.
- It's an awesome thirst quencher. GET SOME!
- Nothing's quenchier!
See also
- Cream Soda
- Mattress Village Cream Soda Destruction League
- Friendly mushroom
- Prohibition in Mattress Village
- Cactus juice
- Ponyo Penguin's Christmas Special