Rad
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The [Dis]Honorable Judge Radford Beaktoiski Rad | |
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[[|250px]] Anethum graveolens! | |
Profile | |
Title | Judge/The Honorable (though Punch will debate that) |
Gender | Male |
Race | Adelie penguin |
Faction | Presides over the Third Courthouse of Juvenile Delenquincy, Rooks Borough, South Pole City |
Health | In good standing |
Level | Court of first instance (the lowest for you laymen) |
Status | Presiding |
Location | South Pole City |
Occupation |
Juvie judge, |
Interests |
Imposing the maximum-allowed penalty for kids' crimes, Mocking his brother, |
Friends | Unknown |
Enemies |
Chicks in general, Punch Beaktoiski (feeling is mutual) |
Archetype | Unknown |
The Honorable Judge Radford Beaktoiski, or more simply, Rad or Judge Rad, is a presiding judge in the juvie circuit for the Rooks Borough of South Pole City. Presiding over the lowest possible level of court hierarchy, he nonetheless makes it his programmer-sent mission to put chicks in Juvie and house arrest for as long as he is legally permitted to do so. Why does he do this? Apparently, it stems from jealousy with his younger brother, who performs insane stunts daily and gets away with it.
Ironically, though, it was Judge Beaktoiski that created Punch's love of stunts in the first place. He had dared him to do one after he came back from law school, and after he succeeded, he had to eat soap.
Background
Rad Beaktoiski hatched about seven years before Punch did. He was always into grungy hair and clothes, and he enjoyed spiking his hair (he's one of those penguins blessed with natural hair) and donning baggy shirts and, at rare times, pants. He was quite the troublemaker in his day, primarily by being a mocker of others, using harsh insults and rude tone. Sometimes, he pulled a prank or two, but he was caught and punished. He then reserved his pranks for his brother.
Rad never actually outgrew his immature obsession with mockery or harassment of his brother, but Punch was nonetheless relieved when he left the Beaktoiski igloo to study law.
Five years later, he returned as a fully licensed judge, robes and all, having specialized in chick cases. His newfound knowledge of law made his harassment a lot more annoying. Having nothing better to do while seeking appointment, he would wonder his neighborhood with the city, state, and national penal codes, looking for chicks that broke the law. Seeing them, he'd pop out of the bushes or other hiding spot, call them a few names, read what they violated, and laugh as they screamed and ran, thinking he'd report them. Mainly, he caught them doing trivialities like jaywalking or trespassing, and the occasional use of vandalism and non-consenting assault with snowballs.
It was about this time that Rad overheard Punch and an acquaintance discussing the famous X-TREME Penguin, who had combined Club Penguin's most dangerous games into one painful stunt. Rad laughed and told Punch that he should try something like that, so he could report it. Punch always enjoyed proving his brother wrong- despite his usual failed attempts -and took the bet. The loser had to eat soap.
The next day, Punch performed the stunt (jumping over a kiddie pool on a bicycle) and failed miserably. Rad gloated as Punch was forced to eat the soap. Punch asked for a rematch, the loser having to eat double the soap, and Rad agreed. A harder stunt was assigned. This time, it was jumping from the roof of his igloo, onto a trampoline, and then to the ground.
Punch trained the next day for the stunt. The judge was awed as his brother not only succeeded, but did a backflip as he landed. He ate his words, or, more specifically, his soap.
Punch loved the invigorating feeling that stunts gave him, and he decided to pursue this passion as a full-time daredevil, much to Rad's bitter anger. Rad grew more and more jealous as he found himself unable to report Punch for his stunts, considering that the evidence was gone before any could arrive, and also considering that there was no legislation or court case regarding jumping an igloo, and as such, nothing to charge him with.
Rad was later accepted to the bench at the local juvenile court, where he took his anger out on convicted chicks, using the fullest extent of his power to send a petty offender to two months in Juvie for shoplifting a candy bar (the usual penalty being less than a week or house arrest).
Involvement
The Judge gets his kicks both from tormenting his brother at home and for imposing serious penalties on any chick convicted in his court.
Controversy
Upset parents have called for Rad's disbarment- that is, his removal from both the judge's bench and his right to be a judge -but so far, no ethics board can find any reason to fire him, because he technically isn't doing anything wrong when in court (and that is where their jurisdiction is). It's not a crime to use the maximum penalties. They stated that what he does "when not holding the gavel" is the responsibility of him and those around him, as the case may be, and that just because he is "mean", he can't be fired.
This, of course, hasn't stopped the protestors, who routinely picket trials with signs that read "JUDGE BEAKTOISKI HATES KIDS" and "ALL MY CHICK DID WAS TAKE A PIECE OF CANDY", and "DO YOU HAVE NO MERCY, JUDGE RAD?", for example.
Trivia
- He is a loose parody of Brad from the television series Kick Buttowski, and the parodee is the brother of the titular character.
- Rad still maintains his grungy haircut and appearance, even when in court. Part of this is to wear a robe three sizes too large for him, a fact that protestors use as an ethics charge.
- The ethics boards again assert that he's not doing anything wrong. In response to the criticism, they ask: "Should it be illegal for a presiding South Pole Councilman to wear a propeller cap or to don a cape when enrobed? How he dresses, unless ridiculously dishonorable of a judge, is not our or your concern."