CupcakeSlam

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Cupcake Slam (or Rocket Slug II)
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(insert Doctor-Doofenschmirtz-ish quote here)
Profile
Title An experiment gone horribly wrong.
Gender Female
Race Penguin villain
Faction FAKE
Health Programmed to be extremely high
Level See Health
Status FAKE
Location Causing chaos
Occupation Working for the Unnderground Clubb Phengin Weekee
Interests Big Balls
Friends Balls!
Enemies Blue Balls!
Archetype Evil


CupcakeSlam, also called Cupcake, is an experimental clone created with a piece of Rocket Slug's hair and a fake eyelash. The experiment to create her went horribly wrong, resulting in less of a clone and more of, well, a disaster.

Background

Rocket Slug and her friend Lexi sat beneath a holographic palm tree. While the ground was covered in snow, the two stayed warm beneath the holographic tree, pretending they were on some tropical vacation and not sitting on the ground in the dead of winter.

As the two girls sat peacefully, the ringing of Lexi's cell phone broke the silence. "Hello?" she answered, waiting impatiently. Mm-hm... yes. Okay, okay! I will be right there! Apologies!"

"What's up?" RS asked.

"It was my mother. I have to go do my chores, because I made a promise that I would do them before I came here," Lexi said plainly. "I hate to leave, but I will be right back! Chores are important. Bye." She waved goodbye to her friend, closing the backyard gate behind her.

Rocket Slug sighed. "Well, that leaves me all by myself... nothing to do." She pulled out her phone for some mindless entertainment, scrolling through social media and waiting patiently. Why couldn't Lexi have done her chores before coming over?

About forty-five minutes passed. RS felt her eyes glaze over, almost asleep, until the backyard gate swung open loudly.

"Hello!" Lexi said. "I'm sorry about that."

"All good. Glad you're back."

The princess smiled and sat down. "While I was vacuuming the driveway, I had an idea, actually."

RS felt her ears perk up. "Oh?"

"Why not make clones of ourselves to do our chores? We just need some deoxyribonucleic acid- er, DNA - and then-"

"Lexi, you're a genius!" Rocket beamed. "Do you know how much time it takes to do chores? That's time I could be spending doing much more productive things, like schoolwork or sleeping or taking care of myself. Y'know, that kind of stuff."

"Right."

"So I'm gonna go get some scrap metal and my toolbox so we can get started!" RS replied, standing up. "Be right back."

The girls got to work designing and building a device that could properly achieve their goal of successful cloning.

After about two hours, they had done it. An awesome device dubbed the "Clone 3000" stood before them, a behemoth of knobs and levers and buttons. Somehow improbable given the materials they had used on hand, the machine loomed over the two girls, unaware of the potential such a device had. Was it going to fully accomplish their hopes and dreams, or go up in flames as some massive disaster? Only time would tell.


"Oh man, I hope this works..." RS muttered as she pulled levers, twisted knobs, and punched various buttons. "And now for the final ingredients - YEOWCH!"

Rubbing her sore arm, Rocket Slug held up one of her purple feathers as well as one of the fake eyelashes she'd been wearing. She gulped, dropping the two ingredients into a hatch on the machine.

The Clone 3000 suddenly began to buzz and shake vigorously, kicking up quite a bit of smoke in the process.

Lexi coughed. "Is it... supposed to do this?"

"Of course it is...?" Rocket Slug hesitantly got closer to the machine, fearing the worst. Did it break? Did it even need her feather or her eyelashes?

Her answers were solved once the machine said those magic words: "PLEASE TYPE IN A NAME".

"A name," RS repeated. Lexi got closer, flippers hovering over the keyboard. "Lex, give me a name."

Lexi was silent, the green monitor illuminating her face.

"First thing that comes to mind," RS prompted, moving a bit so the girl could use the entire keyboard. Lexi typed in the word "Cupcake".

"DID YOU MEAN: CUPCAKESLAM?" the monitor read, offering an option to confirm this correction. Shrugging, Lexi went along with it.

"That's quite the name," Rocket Slug remarked, stepping back to let the machine do its thing.

After a few minutes of shaking, clanging, and buzzing, a dark purple penguin emerged from the machine, fog obscuring her face. As she got closer, the girls saw she was wearing a black shirt, a long white plaid skirt, and a pair of red sandals.

"DID IT WORK?!?" Lexi and RS exclaimed in unison. The purple figure inched closer to them.

"Will you do my chores?" asked RS apprehensively, clasping her flippers.

The purple figure blinked, then rolled her eyes. "Shut'yo mouth!" she exclaimed. "I don't wanna do dose 'chores' of yohs. They sound borin'."

"Yes, I suppose that is the point," Lexi mused. "But then, what do you want to do?"

"I wanna see dose Big Balls. Now dat is interestin' stuff." CupcakeSlam shrugged and walked off.

Rocket Slug fainted and Lexi looked up at her. "So, when can I have a clone?"

Involvement

Her favorite activity is dressing up as Hat Pop, and spray-painting all over the Clubb Phengin Weekee. Nobody knows why she does this.

Trivia

  • Big Balls actually terrify her.
  • Despite her name, she is allergic to cupcakes.
  • Something is horribly wrong with her.

See also