Universal Bureau of Entropy
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|---|---|
 The Bureau's logo. | |
 Map of the | |
| Key details | |
| Type | Secret |
| Level | Classified |
| Location | Everywhere and nowhere |
| Inhabitants | Unspeakables |
| “ | Now THAT was not in the flippin' plot! | ” |
The Universal Bureau of Entropy, unofficially the Universal Bureau Enforcing Murphy's Law, otherwise known as the Anti-Masters, is an unofficial, illegal, and secret society set up in the late 1970s by a rogue government agent. They've got it in for the Bureaucrats of the Universal Bureau of Fictitious Literature, especially Mayor McFlapp. They set in motion almost every bad thing that has ever happened and vow to destroy the Masters. So far they have failed, thanks to the citizens of Antarctica.
Background
Back in the 1970s, a government agent called Someone McPersonstein was fascinated with the paranormal, odd and totally ridiculous. He believed that somebody was controlling our every move (which is actually true). He wanted these rights for himself, and sought out that controller but searched in vain. He started a group, called the Group of Mysteries, that carried on his work.
In 1979, they finally discovered the Bureau of Fiction and the Masters. Misinterpreting McPersonstein's command, they thought they had to DESTROY the Masters. They conducted a raid on the Bureau and stole various scripts, handouts, sheets, and core programs. However, their entrance into the Bureau had set off alarms throughout the building. They fled, gathering up as many files as they could.
They used the stolen technology to locate a hollow in the Fourth Wall, similar to the one used as the BOF's headquarters. Strangely, it was already furnished in a similar way to the Bureau of Fiction, so they set up base inside it.
However, they had no console. Since the Narrator's Organ was far too big to move out of the Bureau without getting caught, they couldn't bring it with them. They decided to try something different: they used the stolen files to access the source code of reality. They couldn't edit it as the BOF can, but they learned how to exploit their foreknowledge of upcoming events, ability to know individuals pasts (and blackmail them.) They found that they could use mere knowledge to cause bad events, and since they couldn't be controlled (they were outside the universe) they could actually cause events to happen, despite all the BOF's efforts. Strangely, the related articles would simply change, as if someone had edited them...
The Bureau also hides the plans of Teh Not Universal Bureau Of Fiction Wannabes and the Bureau of Nonsense. They protected the pages from the other Masters from editing them.
Map
Entry to the Bureau of Entropy can only be gained through a gray credit card with a red magnetic strip. One of these are owned by each member of the Bureau. Simply use the card to try and enter the Bureau of Fiction. A portal will appear as if you used a BOF card. Step inside the portal. You will appear in a darkened, black corridor with a metal door at the end. Swipe your card across the door and you will enter the bureau.
The main area is a large, circular room shaped like a stadium, where you can access the following areas:
- 1. Storage- This room is filled with towering shelves crammed with scripts, evidence, books, and other evidence of the Master's existence. Only one penguin works here, an Unspeakable called Nodrick Node.
- 2. Space- This room consists of many, many computer screens monitoring space. They are currently keeping close tabs on PASA, the AIA, CNIC, PSA, EPF, and every nation's government. About sixty Unspeakables work here.
- 3. Time- This room is filled with stolen Vortex Manipulators, computers monitoring the Time Vortex and thousands of files on Time Travelers such as Kwiksilver and Doctor Hickory. A side door behind a bookcase leads to the small office. Seventy Unspeakables work here.
- 4. Universes- This is mainly a surveillance room that watches every single Universe in the Holy Wikia. It also has a teleporter for teleporting to different universes. Forty Unspeakables work here.
- 5. Artifacts- This is an empty room. It previously held artifacts associated with Universes, but they have been moved to Storage.
- 6. Prophecy- This hall contains millions upon millions of crystal snowglobes, each containing every prophecy ever spoken. Predictions ranging from "Team 2 is going to win the Uber Bowl" to The Prophecy itself are archived here. If anyone makes a prediction, a snowglobe appears for it. Each prophetic snowglobe has a small bobblehead doll of the one who spoke it suspended in midair. Shaking or smashing a prophetic snowglobe causes the bobblehead doll to repeat the prediction. Nobody works here, but most Unspeakables come by for fun.
- 7. Small Office- The Small Office is never entered by the Unspeakables, so they assume it is just a tiny broom cupboard. Actually, it is a room bigger on the inside where The Anti-Masters work. The Narrator's Hydarulis sits in the corner.
Inhabitants
- Various Unspeakables, minions that work in theBureau.
Anti-Masters
- Murphy- The absolute leader of the UBE, Murphy was appointed to power after McPersonstein died. He is an 8½ inch tall rabbit with a fuzzy face and a heart shaped nose. It was his ideas that made the company want to destroy the Masters. He is also the Anti-Author.
- Lord Carrion- The Anti-Narrator, Lord Carrion, is an evil raven (AKA a crow, but don't tell him that) who is about the same age as Mayor McFlapp. He controls the Narrator's Hydraulis.
- Conductor Hertz- The Anti-DJ, Conductor Hertz is a male Khanz Vampenguin who was conductor of the Pengolian Symphony Orchestra until Lord Carrion offered him a job as an Anti-Master. He owns a collection of sad, tragic, and awful music, as well as bad or annoying melodies. His outdated equipment includes gramophones, reel-to-reels, and tape recorders. Songs he harbors or utilizes include the Darktonian Polka and Annoying Sounds by the Furry Flats, but those are just the start of the "torture" section.
- Director Kenny- A seemingly sweet but evil blue puffle, who is also a Mabel Relative and Director Benny's brother. He and Benny share a fierce sibling rivalry. He is the Anti-Director.
- Robert McPersonstein- The only grandson of Someone McPersonstein, Robert is the Anti-Illustrator. Rob owns all the "sad" colours, like Miserable Blue and Sickly Green, etc. He has no idea of the true intentions of his grandfather.
Other notable characters
- Faida is a ruthless monster creator that aids in various tasks as a part-time job. When she is not working with the BOE, she's fending off Greenville.
Villains
Excuse me? EVERYONE IS A VILLAIN!
List of Departments
- Department of Time (controls time and history)
- Department of Space (watches every single thing going on in the universe)
- Department of Characterization (deals with Character's personality, skills, interests, Back story)
- It is rumored that this will become part of the Universal Bureau of Fictitious Literature in the future.
- Department of Black Comedy (deals with making humor that involves other people getting hurt)
- Department of Horror (Specializes in creating grotesque, scary, or disgusting events and things)
- Department of Catastrophes (Deals with creating bad things, and how bad they are, who they affect, and how long they last)
- Department of Mysteries (Used to help cover-up plans, and confuse people as well as stopping them from finding answers)
- The Department of Mysteries is the most important department in the BoE. It covers up all their plans, whether they are still being thought up, or have been acted upon ages ago, allowing them to get away with many things. The Department of Mysteries also creates decoys, red herrings, enigmas, and paradoxes, which bring fourth a lot of trouble.
Trivia
- The Bureau is rumored to be behind the Maledict, Virus, Darktan, Nightmare and every evil thing in Antarctica. Mayor McFlapp, who denies this, was asked to comment:
- "Bloomin' sorry, I can't flippin' comment right now. I'm trying to rollback these bally Maledict edits by that carrion bloke, wot wot!"
- Even though ravens are just over-sized crows, Lord Carrion refuses to be addressed by any other species. Mayor McFlapp loves to mess with Carrion and call him a "crow".
- The entire Bureau absolutely dislikes Yalondo Yinchanva, due to a rather odd incident that resulted a loss of 14,000 pebbles of paint remover.
- They like the Wannabe Masters Of The Universe because they cause trouble for the Bureau, especially Director Chenny.